The Battle of a Man’s Heart

I wrote an article a while back titled “We Were All Blue Pill at One Time” and it ties into this topic quite a bit. The reality is most of us have been in a bad relationship. Most of us have been in a terrible relationship. Let’s face it, most of us have been in a lot of bad relationships. Most of us have been in a lot of terrible relationships.

Personally my mother showed many characteristics of being a malignant narcissistic sociopath and this set me up to willingly date them unaware. I don’t know if I attracted them per sae, as I attracted a lot of girls growing up. Somehow they always managed to be the ones I was in a relationship with however. Not always, but a large percentage of the girls I dated turned out to be exactly like this. Even once I started learning about narcissism, sociopaths, jezebel personalities, delilah personalities, ect. when I was younger they still managed to trick me once in a while.

Many times I found myself feeling extremely depressed and unhappy with life when I was in these relationships. It didn’t happen overnight which is part of the trick. I would have seen it if it happened suddenly and without a well executed plan of attack. Often times it can take weeks, months, or even years to fully carry out their plan. Little by little, they start to whittle away at your foundation. At the same time they send out a psychological flank in one of your most vulnerable positions.

You wonder to yourself, how did this happen? I was just eating and drinking with my buddies, playing cards and enjoying some good fun when all of a sudden there was movement in the bushes. Little did we know there was something lurking, watching, waiting. We begin to worry, doubt, and fear what could be hiding in the bushes. Is a cute free range rabbit? I don’t think so. It’s too big. Suddenly it stops.

You look around and everything seems to be normal. Perhaps it was just the breeze you think. So you go back to having fun with your buddies. You are enjoying the freedom and liberty of life. The sunset is beautiful. The buzz starts to kick in from the beers. Another buddy comes back from the lake with some fish and another with a small boar he shot while taking a shit. You feel great, laughing inside, suddenly out of the corner of your eye you see several shadows dance across the tree line.

You look over and once again see nothing. This time you take no chances and send out a small team to recon and another to setup security just in case. Meanwhile you gaze through your binoculars as your spotter and long range shooter setup near by. All reports come back and it’s all clear. You see nothing and start to doubt your own leadership abilities. You wonder if you are starting to see things. You tell your team to come back and enjoy the rest of the night. You drink a few extra beers to calm the nerves and pass around a few jokes with the guys.

The sun has set, the moon is high in the sky, the forest is quiet, and the pond is still. All is peaceful on the top of the hill. A few guys are still playing cards while another is setting up his hammock. One’s passed out with a giant smile and a cigar still stuck to his lip. You can’t help but laugh and smack it out of his mouth.

This is when it happens. Those shadows become demons and the rustle of the bush turns into a full on assault. You scream not only for your platoon but also as a rally cry. You run for cover firing every chance you get. You see your platoon in total chaos as they run for their weapon dodging bullets and fire. You grab a grenade from your waste band, pull the pin, and throw it as far as you can as you take position and start cover fire.

The only thing racing through your mind is doubt and fear. You can’t believe you let your self and your men get caught sleeping. You question your leadership as you slap a new magazine in and chuck another grenade. This is when you see it. You see the flank charging in. With one last effort you grab the M240 Bravo and try to cover. You yell for your team to get down as you spin in rapid fire.

When the smoke clears there’s nothing left. Your hobbies, your dreams, your personality, it’s all gone. Your clip runs dry and all you here is click click click.

This is where I found myself many times during and after a relationship like this. Building your confidence back up can be extremely difficult. Getting yourself, your hobbies, your life back can be one of the hardest things ever imaginable. You look around at all the dead bodies and wonder how you could ever recover. You question who you even are anymore. Whether or not your personality is what it is or what it even is.

The only thing you can really do is bury the dead. As you start to walk away and realize everything that has occurred, your doubt becomes curiosity and your fear becomes depression. It’s a fuzzy feeling and quite hard to put words too, as your mind goes blank and your body pushes forward. You dust off old habits and hobbies that bring back some cognitive function. You feel the cool fall breeze biting your nipples as you go back for a sweatshirt before wondering to yourself how it all happened.

You stay up late reading internet articles like this one. Questioning your existence and what the fuck it is you’re doing. You start to realize you’re not alone and many men have fought this very battle. You’re filled with rage and joy while laying low as a survivor. You start to remember your wants and desires, your dreams. Your shown a mission and objective with an achievable goal.

This is where true growth comes from. Self reflection and honesty. You see your self for who you really are. What you really are. As it becomes obvious looking in the mirror. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the process, because we have a very short existence. Wasting your time bashing and hating might build your confidence but it won’t bring you to a place of consistent joy, you’ll be left sitting in the camp staring at your boy.

This is one area I truly struggle in, and that’s remaining humble. The ability to build confidence without hurting someone else can be difficult in this society. Especially when it’s so easy with no responsibility for your actions. You can personally see many times I have lost my humility from passion, emotion, or rage. It’s easy to do. Where our government plays the left and right paradigm pretending our votes have some sort of weight. Realizing it’s not true when they try to take your Ak-47 birthday cake.

The only way we get through this is with a well educated platoon. Where each member has a unique tool set to add value to the tune. Where we truly argue and debate as men, with no topic off the table with true ideas and opinions to validate. Staying inside the camp of death you can’t revitalize who you are. A place of rage and depression are your only way out, unless you take up a bad habit like meth.

The Grouch & Eligh - Teach Me The Way

Government Marriage is a Religious Hoax

There was a period in my life where I spent my free time looking for pastors to learn from and often times I would find false teachers and liars. Men after money, men after titles, men delivering a delusion every Sunday. What I heard quite often is the concept of marriage twisted into a pair of handcuffs. The idea that you should get married and if you don’t get a contract with the state you aren’t a good christian. If you find out one day that your spouse is not who you thought they were you are guilted and shamed into staying in that marriage. What a terrible religious lie to live under.

The concept of the marriage license comes from the Vatican. A marriage license is a document issued, either by a church or state authority, authorizing a couple to marry. The Roman Curia created the concept of legal fictions– trusts, foundations, birth certificates, social security cards, licenses, permits, and other corporations. By Maxim of Law, those who create are responsible for their creations. The Roman Curia is responsible for the proper functioning of all corporations worldwide. By Maxim of Law, there is no statute of limitation on fraud. Privately owned governmental services corporations have been fraudulently passing themselves off as the “government of ___________”. The longevity of this fraud in no way imbues it with authority.

The idea that the Bible would teach you to get a contract with the state to prove your love is a ridiculous concept. The idea that God would want you to sign some paperwork that gave government control and power inside your marriage is strait up delusional. The idea that Jesus Christ wants you to bring the government into your home and the power to take your child is strait up nuts. The government took something from the Bible and turned it upside down presenting it to the public as something normal. Another form of control, a prison.

In that same period in my life when I was looking for a real church I discovered time and time again a church of unhappy fake people. Half the women in the church would be checking me out, making passes, dress slutty. I remember one women would stare at me with eyes of passion non stop every day. These people where in marriages they hated. They where with people they hated. It was a total allusion every Sunday of fake happiness while they twisted scripture on the pulpit. This was the normal inside every church I visited.

When you look at the entire system created from the marriage certificate it really is unreal. When you look at all the judges, lawyers, government workers, ect. that literally make a living off marriage and divorce by the state. The entire marriage planning and event ceremony cost, the blood diamond ring, the dresses and outfits. The divorces and child custody hearings. The politicians making laws regarding it all. It’s entwined in our society like a black widow over it’s prey.

The cost is not only financial but mental. Men are seen as disposable by this entire system. They are played for fools in this religious allusion. They walk right into the trap and trying to do the “good” thing they make many mistakes. I wouldn’t personally get an abortion and I don’t want to pay for yours, (but if you want to get one that’s on you, I suggest you research the after effects on women though) but getting the state involved in your relationship is not biblical nor is it what God wants. The government should have no say in anyone’s lives. That’s one of the problems here. Following this delusion is only a trap laid before you by the system.

Another mistake people make and something that infuriates me about these fake pastors is that you can’t get divorced. No where in the Bible does it say to stay with someone if they are evil, manipulative, abusive, or bitter. In fact the opposite. [Scripture at the End]

The problem once again is people have let another person tell them what the Bible says. They believe the word of man over the Bible and live in total depression while they try to continue a failed relationship. Marriage with the state is a lie. It can only hurt you. It has no real benefit to anyone and frankly it’s none of their business.

If you were truly married under Biblical concepts you would have a much different view on your relationship. Women would not be nagging, they wouldn’t be arguing and causing drama. Men wouldn’t acting like adult children with no balls. It would be a much different society that these fake religious people try and display. Not only does it damage the name of Jesus Christ but you yourself live in total despair. You allow a system to have total control over you and your family.

I really am tired of all these delusions. People twisting things to fit their delusions. Using government marriage as a way to lord over the people in your church. Using it as a way to collect taxes and revenue off the backs of hard working men. In some cases men that have literally given their lives for very system that turned around to bite them with the kiss of death. Hands tied, red spot, the last thing you remember is the heart.

Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth. Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. – Proverbs 7:24-26

For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. – Proverbs 5:3-4

To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. – Proverbs 2:16-17

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. – 1 Timothy 5:13

For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men. – Proverbs 23:27-28

The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein. – Proverbs 22:14

Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness. – Proverbs 30:20

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. – Proverbs 14:1

Ezekiel 16
^^^ Change the word JERUSALEM in verse 2 to MODERN WOMEN. Seems this is not the first time in history this has happened and the Bible was warning you the entire time. There’s a reason feminists and liberals HATE the bible. It reveals all their games, their plan, and their agenda.

As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. – Proverbs 11:22

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4

Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things. – 1 Timothy 3:11

A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. – Proverbs 27:15

And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. – Mark 10:12

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. – Proverbs 31:30

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. – Proverbs 21:19

Why Women are Manipulative in Relationships

When in confrontation with most women you’ll always start to question the narrative about half way through. This is because they will have tried to gas light you three or four times in just a few short minutes. This is an all out barrage on your brain that leaves you exhausted and bewildered. You often ask yourself WHY?! Why on earth do you feel the need to continue manipulating reality, why do you continue lying about the situation, why can’t you simply take responsibility for your actions.. These are all thoughts that generally come to mind in most relationships I’ve seen first hand or personally been in myself.

We ask ourselves why? We can’t comprehend why they continue to lie and manipulate even when confronted. They just keep trying. I have pondered this several times and competition always seems to be one of the biggest roots stemming into the war on your mental health. Women have been told their entire life that they are equal to men. That they can be independent, career driven, AND happy. In the work place, at home, in school, they are in constant competition with men, their boyfriends, and their husbands. Mentally, physically, and who wears the pants in the household. It’s a constant battle in every family because what exactly is EQUAL?! Should the women chop and stack wood 50% of the time? Should the husband mop the floor while the wife builds the new barn? See the reality is yes, of course a women can do those things. But the average man is going to accomplish the task at a much higher rate than the average female. This is not equality. Women can give birth, nurse their babies, and look good doing it. Men can not give birth, nurse a baby, and we certainly would not look good doing it.

The biggest lie both women and men have been told by society is that we are equal. We are not, and we never will be. Equality is just a fairy tale for liberalism and socialism to spread its wings and indoctrinate everyone with it’s kind words; but it’s not true. Not only is it not true but it creates total chaos in the family unit. Inside the man and women’s own mental thinking and life. A women wastes her entire life in a career to find out she can’t have children anymore and dies alone. What’s the point? Especially when all dogs go to heaven, not cats.

Men are told they are equal to women, that they should be submissive, passive, and non-expressive of male emotions. How can a man be a man if he can’t get manly every once in a while.. but to a feminist modern typical women this is the death of the marriage or relationship. Or soon to be the death after a war for power ensues the entire thing. Equality in any relationship is impossible. It’s a constant conflict of trying to balance the weights on each side of the scale. Peace comes from accepting your role in the relationship and learning how to thrive in it. Not fight it.

This seems to be one of the big reasons women feel the need to lie, manipulate, and control a situation. They are in a power struggle they can’t win. They have to use shame, guilt, lies, and control to gain the power. The reality is the average man could man handle the average women. I don’t condone violence it’s just an example. The man has the raw power. He wields the ability to create, build, and destroy with his bare hands. The women can not compete with this raw power. Her only way is through this manipulation, breaking you down, getting you to her level.

The reality is if a women accepted her role in the family and embraced it, there would be no lying, no manipulation, no games, and no control. There would be no fight for dominance, no fight for power, no fight for leadership. In reality that would be the equal relationship. The fair and healthy relationship. This is non-existent in today’s culture. Looking at any married couple is evidence enough that the women’s softball team wears the nut cups. Married men have become docile and beat down and those that run are shamed, stolen from, or worse, robbed of their children. All because they said “NO”.

Monkey Bar Mayhem in a Relationship

For most unsuspecting men, entering a relationship can be exciting and fun. He goes on hot dates and spends quality time with a pretty little lady. Maybe some kisses and hugs and perhaps even a poke. All along the man thinks he’s building a quality relationship with someone that cares about him. That doesn’t care about his money, his wealth, or his future assets. That she actually cares about him for who he is and what he stands for. Most men enter these relationships with the idea of building something with this person.

The problem however is women do not see it this way. They do not see a man and his flaws and accept him. Once this honey moon stage ends, (sometimes they don’t even wait this long), they begin challenging you in a competitive way. They begin to slowly question certain behaviors. Certain things you say. Or all out concerns about certain personality traits. I call this monkey bar mayhem. And you will see why in a moment.

A few examples that come to mind of the top of my head; I have had women:

1) Laugh at a joke > get mad and throw a temper tantrum over the same joke a few hours later.
2) Tell me i’m walking to fast > speed walk home in anger that I dont walk at her perfect speed.
3) Tell me to trust what she says or does > doesn’t trust what I say or do.
4) Observing my surroundings > stop looking at pretty girls.
5) Tell me I’m not giving enough affection > just held hands walking 20 minutes to the store while hugging inside the store.
6) I offer to help a neighbor with yard work > get jealous and guilts me into not helping.
7) I want to visit a friend > gets angry and guilts me into not wanting to go.
8) Accuses me of cheating > talks to other guys behind my back.
9) Taking a poop playing clash of clans > get yelled at for cheating.
10) Get a beer with a few buddies > get told to behave myself and be a good little boy and then guilt trip to not go.
11) I want to make some new friends in the neighborhood > create drama so no one wants to be around.
12) I ask her to join in my hobbies > complains and acts like they are boring and stupid hobbies.
13) Tell me she wants grass > doesn’t like my answer and asks Sams Club cashier how to plant grass.
14) I Confront bad behavior, (lying, manipulating, selfishness, ect.) > deny deny deny responsibility for actions never taken.
15) Catch her red handed > she tells you it’s your fault and calls the police.
16) Support and build her up > she becomes verbally abusive.
17) Show someone else attention > she becomes verbally abusive and angry.
18) Call me drunk at a dudes house 40+ years older than her > asks me why I never want to see her again.
19) Command me to do something > get angry and throw a temper tantrum walking through the neighborhood yelling. (Many times, and different girls.)
20) She complains about my house setup > wants control over how it looks and functions.
21) She complains about me standing my ground > throws temper tantrum when she doesn’t get her way.

So that was actually pretty easy. I think I could easily hit 100 if I sat here for a couple minutes. These are all different types of examples of the monkey bar mayhem. It doesn’t matter what you try and do, how good you try and be, it’s literally never enough. If you show 10000 affection, she needs 200000 affection. If you walk 3mph, she needs you to walk 2.9 mph. If you walk 2.9 mph, she needs you to walk 2.8 mph because she had a long day. If you want to visit a friend, she treats you like a cheating scumbag. These are all techniques to control your behavior. To put you in a state of exhaustion trying to climb the monkey bars. The problem is however, every time you think you’re about to cross, you reach out and the bar MOVES. You fall flat on your face with a mouthful of sand. You get up thinking you must have missed the bar. Perhaps if you just tried a little harder.

So you get back up. You locate the bar. You find it. You say okay, I can do it. You climb back up and start going across. You get a little farther and BAM. A mouthful of sand. You ask yourself “I clearly saw the bar, what happened?”. You tell yourself it must have been something you did or didn’t do. That if you just try a LITTLE harder you can get there.

Are you starting to see the pattern? How they get control over someone and maintain that control? Through guilt, shame, or strait up verbal abuse they batter you into this position. You keep thinking if you just try a little harder you will make her happy. That you will be worthy and she will just treat you with respect and kindness. The reality is this never comes. She never deems you worthy or respectable. She ALWAYS has an exit plan, or two. Falling from the monkey bars flat on your face is the only SANDwich you’re going to get in this situation.

They use this as a way to milk you for all your worth. To keep you running in the hamster cage until you just can’t run anymore. Eventually a man will become exhausted of running on the wheel. He will climb down and say no. This is when you’ll realize it was nothing but a playground game. The entire relationship was a fraud. She will slowly start bad mouthing you to everyone around. Subtly. Letting everyone know, before you know, that it is coming to an end and that it’s YOUR fault. That you just couldn’t make her happy. You just couldn’t do enough. She is the innocent victim and tried so hard to make it work.

You will soon realize that her playground games have set her up, with the help of the government, with your money, house, children, and assets for the next __ years. You will soon realize that the entire time she was just playing you for a fool. Even if you are not married these principles still apply inside the relationship. You were used as an emotional tampon or for her “right now” mentality to leech off. They have no interest in a true real relationship. Only what they can suck from their host as a parasite.

The end game of monkey bar mayhem is total control over you and your life. If you say no. You might want to buy a real medieval shield. They will make your life a living hell. I’ve had female friends and girlfriends do all of these things. Trying to manipulate or control me in some way. They want puppets to dance to their tune and to pay for the puppets as well. They don’t just want the cake, they want the whole cake store. If you question them, they make you the enemy to anyone that will listen. They will go out of their way to destroy you and your reputation if you do not obey their commands.

The only way to win monkey bar mayhem is to NOT PLAY. It’s like playing beer pong with tabasco sauce.