Looking back on the time before I left, many friends and family were the opposite of supportive. Many had tall tales of my death at the hands of the cartel. Some said I’d be back, and others were simply indifferent. In general the theme of their words maintained the story line of fear. They projected their own fears onto me when they tried to picture them selves doing the same thing.
I actually had only one friend that showed any sort of support at all and it was tied with the expression that I would return one day. Every single other person threw up their 5 gallon bucket of non-sense on every aspect of my adventure. This projection is a toxic thing and often times can keep someone from chasing after their dream. If I wasn’t so stubborn and adventurous I might have heeded some of their warnings.
The reality is though, not a single one of their warnings came to be. Every single time I was without food, it was provided. When I went without water, it was given to me. When I needed a place to sleep, I found one. There was never really any doubt in my adventure as far as safety. I can honestly say not one time did I ever feel threatened in any way. Especially in Mexico, the USA is a bit shadier in the cities whereas Mexico, other than Mexico City itself, is rather peaceful.
I was prepared though, with knives and other defensive objects as I was on my adventure but often times found myself never needing them. Not even close. My expectations of could be trouble never materialized. The fear that they had pumped into me never showed itself. In fact, it was the exact opposite the entire time. Fear of having to pay bills, gone. Fear of getting another speeding ticket, gone. Fear of not paying credit debts, gone. Fear of losing my job, gone. Fear of my insurance being valid, gone. Fear of losing my stuff, gone. Fear of economic collapse, gone. All my fears had vanished upon starting this adventure. No matter how big or small they completely vanished.
Looking back now, I kind of laugh at all the remarks that were made to me. Some of those still to this day ignore me when I extend a greeting. As if they can’t even speak to me because my life literally contradicts all of their delusions. They feel guilt for pushing their fear and deep down they know they are truly a coward so they remain silent. They don’t have the balls to admit what they did was childish or own up to it. They simply ignore and continue their delusion.
Living in this box of fear is a scary place to be, and many times those fears are what keep us inside it. People project theirs onto you in hopes of keeping you inside this box, with no consideration for you.
Living in this box of guilt is a scary place to be, and many times those guilts are what keep us inside it. People manipulate others to remain at their beck and call, limiting you to their intentions.
Living in this box of doubt is a scary place to be, and many times those doubts are what keep us inside it. People say faith in Jesus Christ is a cage but the reality is, my faith is what got me through that door, and in fear, I’ll live no more.